Angel on my shoulder.Angel beneath my feet.
Without getting too much in to the theological discussion of whether or not Angels exist, I wanted to share a true story with you.
I believe In Angels and have done since I was about 21. Whenever times had been difficult for me a random white feather would appear. I had no idea what it meant until I was with a friend when it happened and she said it was the ‘Angels calling card’. Since then I have been open to the presence of … something…….’Higher beings’ that help, and guide and support us. On this particular occassion a white feather probably wouldn’t cut it so they ‘upped their game’ and delivered a message that would be hard to ignore or misinterpret.
It was early December 2008, I was pregnant and my husband was weeks into a difficult and emotional tour of Afghanistan. He had recently lost two friends, one who he was particularly close. He was coming into contact daily and his rare emails and phone calls home were becoming more and more distant, and strained. I knew he was struggling, and was in danger every day, but I couldn’t help him. I felt beyond useless.
The only thing I could do was try to continue to live my life as normal at home. So, I was on my lunch hour from my busy office job, and decided to spend it browsing the baby clothes section of local department stores; trying to grasp the enormity of carrying a little life and soul inside of me, a bloodline. I was lost in rather sad and desperate thoughts, worried so much for my husband and feeling unable to help; concerned for his physical safety, but also his emotional and mental state of mind. I had even pre-empted his return by making sure I was fully aware of any PTSD symptoms to watch out for. And also concerned and worried about my parenting abilities.
I felt desperate. I felt helpless. I felt alone and afraid.
When I realised I was late back for work, I
waddled hurried back to my office, on high heel boots, that were a little impractical for a pregnant bump. I reached my office and trod on something that crunched beneath my feet. I thought it was a stone or piece of gravel, so as I climbed the stairs I tried to scrape it off on the concrete steps but whatever it was simply wouldn’t budge. So, when I was sat back at my desk I took my boot off to have a look…
There, embedded in the sole of my shoe was a gold and diamond Angel brooch/shoulder pin. The kind you can buy in gift and tourist shops. As I pulled it from my shoe and looked at it in disbelief, a feeling of calm and tranquillity came over me. It is cliché but the only way to describe it, and I knew in that instant that I didn’t need to worry. I knew my husband would come back to me and I knew he would be ok!
I knew we would all be ok; As parents and as a couple and as a family.