So I have been reading more and more lately about the censorship of pornography on the internet and debates about whether or not, in this day and age it is acceptable to have page 3 girls, or whether the legal age of consent should be lowered (it shouldn’t!!)!
This is absolutely my own opinion.
Firstly, yes the internet needs some kind of censorship. I am a mother and ultimately we need to protect our children from violence and abuse. But on the other hand… did the politicians learn nothing from their forefathers in America with Prohibition??? Did prohibition stop a nation from partaking of alcohol? NO!! It did something far worse and that was to drive it underground and create a million dollar industry for gangsters and the unscrupulous to profit from! Would banning pornography not create something similar?? It is already an industry on the fringe, pushing it underground is just going to create more cloak and dagger, more rules to be broken, more lines to get blurred and more girls or guys to be victimised and abused and exploited! It will perpetuate the problem not solve it!
What we NEED is more openness to sex, more femininity in sex, more emotions and a WHOLE NEW attitude. I’m talking not just about the pornography industry but also in our education of our children. Sex should not be taught by embarrassed teachers clinically and scientifically to children too young to understand the nature of it. In my opinion it should be introduced into the education system from 11/12 years and no younger. I personally think the parents should take responsibility for their children’s understanding of sex, but that doesn’t always happen (my parents never did!) But 11/12 is old enough… let kids be kids for at least 10 years of their life!! When the hormones and questions start then that, is the time to start teaching them; and as this would be different for all kids I think 11/12 is a fair guide.
I am not saying that everyone who is involved in the sex industry should be ‘in love’ with their partner. The very act of selling images of them having sex is not particularly romantic…but surely we should have an ideal to aim for!?
We won’t be able to teach our children about all the emotions involved with sex, they may think they are in love with their boyfriend/girlfriend and later find they weren’t but if we give them a goal, an ideal, an image of perfect union between man and woman then at least they will (hopefully) aim higher than losing their virginity in a car park, hurriedly before curfew with a boy/girl they hardly know, while their mate keeps look out!
Sex can be such a beautiful union between two people, a joining of souls, a sharing of desires, intimacy can create such a bond. If we can swallow our embarrassment and teach our children to appreciate this, we can help them on their path to healthy relationships. If we can be open and celebrate our daughters virginity as a source of feminine power, perhaps they wont be so eager to throw off the badge of ‘virgin’ when the opportunity 1st presents itself, perhaps we can encourage them to wait and value themselves and their sexuality. (Full disclosure: I am a heterosexual female, so whilst I refer to heterosexual relationships I think Homosexual relationships should also be revered and treasured and cultivated) I wish everyone could learn to value and treasure themselves and then in turn, find a lover who is worthy of their time and share and partake in a loving and intimate relationship.
Sex in the porn industry is male orientated. The women are seen as objects and treated as such, or the men are treated in an appalling and submissive way in dominatrix porn. WHERE IS THE ART OF SEDUCTION…. The Glimpse of subtle flesh… the whispered promises?? This is what we should see in the media! E.L James got it right with 50 shades, it’s a LOVE story that INVOLVES sex!! Not a Sex Story that INCLUDES love as an aside to the sex.
Love & sex are interchangeable (in my limited experience), but it has got so out of balance now that LOVE is almost seen as the ‘dirty’ word. Women are being manipulated into thinking we should want it doggy style over the kitchen sink cos that’s what the guys want to see. (There is a time and a place for this guys! We aren’t prudes all of the time ;)!!) But we also want love, seduction, perfume, aromas, beauty, silk, lace, caresses, kisses from our heads to our toes (honestly love us in this way and you will release a GODDESS!!)………. AND THAT IS OK!!!!!
It is O.K to want to be loved and cherished and you shouldn’t accept any less. You deserve that! That is what we should be passing on to our children, the idea that they are deserving of that kind of love and beauty.
Sex is shown in mainstream media as some cheap plot enhancement to a second rate series. The romantic stuff shows a guy (usually) with flowers and a girl in sexy undies (I know I’m using shameless stereotypes!) They kiss, they go the bedroom, fade to black, end of scene, cut to something else as though no one wants to see the romantic sex, But if its a couple having a cheap affair or a guy (or girl) manipulating the object of their affection often you get to see this with papers being pushed onto the floor and skirts hitched up over the desk, even getting to watch a full minute or so of sex. Do we want to see more sex if its cheap and nasty? or is it just that this is what we expect now?
We need to teach our children to expect more, and we will only do this by being more open and honest about sex, not brushing it under the carpet even more!! Acting ashamed of sex is just going to make them feel ashamed!
C’mon let’s see some more sex. Give us a romantic movie that shows love and desire and sex… E.L James has made a great start (but its still fetish and Christian’s desires are still seen as somehow ‘dirty’ or ‘wrong’)